Learn to Write, for Pete's Sake!

Why do people insist on appearing illiterate? Here's a teeny sampling of some of the most common spelling and grammatical mistakes on the Internet.

No such thing: For the last time, alot is not a word! It's two separate words, a and lot. Look it up.

Absolutely: Definately is definitely not a word. It's phonetic misspelling.

Be gone: Gonna is used so often that it's almost become a real word. But it's just a sign of laziness; going to seems to be too much trouble for people to write.

Is it or isn't it? Its is the possessive form of it (the word has lost its meaning); it's is a contraction of it is (it's going to be a long night). And no matter how many times it's used, ain't isn't a word.

Your place or mine: Your is the possessive form of you (your place is better); you're is a contraction of you are (you're not serious).

One for the money: One's is the possessive form of one (it's good for one's health); ones is more than one one (the ones that get you).

Three for the price of two: To is the opposite of from (let's go to the hobby shop); too is excessive (he owns too many freight cars); and two is one plus one (he's got two locos).

But wait, there's more: There is the opposite of here (the ship is over there); their is the possessive form of them (look at all of their rolling stock); and they're is a contraction of they are (I think they're all gone).

The real deal: bonifide is phonetic mangling of the Latin bona fide, meaning in good faith.

That's debatable: All too often mute is used to describe an issue that is settled ("Clearly A is the winner, so it's a mute point"). But mute is a person who cannot speak; the word people are trying to use is actually moot, and it means an issue is not settled ("In reality, A is no better than B, so it's a moot point"). A synonym for moot is debatable, and it rhymes with hoot.

Don't hold your breath: The phrase baited breath is written incorrectly so often—appearing that way in some books—that it's become accepted, even though it has no logical meaning spelled like that. The phrase is really bated breath, and it literally means to hold one's breath (bated comes from abate, or halt).

—David K. Smith, 23 June 2008

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